Please pray for us.

My husband & I have a tough day coming up on the 17th. We found out today that my husband's grandma passed away yesterday and the funeral is Tuesday the 17th. We are saddened by the loss of his grandma, but we are actually happy for her because now she is in Heaven with Jesus and no longer in pain (grandpa passed away in 2007 so she was alone). She had been suffering in a nursing home for a long time, so it is sort of a relief knowing she's not suffering anymore. However, the tough part of the day will be from a completely different source: my husband's estranged mother.

Shortly after my husband & I got married, my in-law's marriage ended (it had been coming for years). In 2006 my MIL got remarried and has decided to shut everything out of her life that has anything to do with her first husband, my FIL. She treats my husband like dirt, she hasn't ever seen our youngest son Peter, she hasn't come to a birthday party since my [almost] 7-year-old's first birthday party in 2006, we invited her over many times and she doesn't even have the decency to say "no thanks". I am shocked she even called today to let my husband know his grandma had passed away since she didn't bother to let us know when she and her new husband got married. I am REALLY not looking forward to seeing her. I've already put my foot down that the kids will NOT be coming with us to the funeral because my MIL does not deserve the pleasure of seeing them now after ignoring them for 5 years. Please pray that we will keep Christ-like character and not let her get under our skin.

At least I can be glad that this isn't going to happen a day later because Wednesday is my birthday. Still, this isn't exactly how I wanted to spend the day before my birthday.

Rachel I'm sorry to hear about your hubby's grandma. You are right, it is more easily accepted when they are in pain. She will be now with her husband I'm sure.

I know what it's like being estranged from your mil. I don't think a funeral is the place for children anyway but that's entirely up to you. I will pray for you all that you have a nice day rembering the happy times of her life and that your mil doesn't push you to do or say anything you don't want to.

I know how you feel about your birthday too. My little boy was born and died on my nephew's birthday and his funeral was on my brother in law's birthday. Unfortunately we couldn't have it any other day because of the Minister's other commitments

That's so sad, Kym.

Prayers out for your family Rachel ... hoping she will remain an "adult" during this difficult time! HUGS[/size]

Thank-you Linda.

You have my prayers Rachel, just think though over all the sorrow your family feels and I know she will be missed but she is in a better place even though it doesn't make missing her any easier.

I will be praying for ya'll! Sometimes dealing with family is harder than anything else!! I pray it goes smoothly!

Praying for you all to Rachel, hope it all goes smoothly

Than-you, ladies!

Just remember Grandma for who and what she was............don't worry about MIL........you can ignore her if necessary, or just say "I am sorry, but this is not the place or time to discuss this matter" and leave it at that

Hope it all turns out well for you.

Rachel, offering prayers for you and your husband. I agree with Kym. Make it a day to remember the life of your husband's grandmother. Rise above any of the childish antics your husband's mom may throw your way. Offer her a polite condolence and then move on. I will not waste time talking about her, but my mil was "something else" and that is how I learned to handle her, just rise above it and don't lower yourself to her behavior. Others will walk away thinking of her behavior, not yours.

Thanks, Trish and Barb. I was pretty much thinking what you said, Trish. It's just I hope that I don't lose it and "snap"...

I am so sorry for this,try to ignore her,you will have my prayers Rachel too.
I hope my birthday present will make you feel better

Thank-you, Tanya, I'm sure it will!

I'm sorry your family has lost your husband's grandmother. I will pray for your family, Rachel, including your MIL.

Thank-you, Janie. We pray for my MIL a lot, even though she's decided to treat us this way, she still is my husband's mother.

The funeral is over, thank the Lord. When we first walked in, my husband's mom ignored us, but started talking about how we wouldn't let her see her grandchildren (her choice not to see them, not ours) to a woman that was standing next to her...right behind us like we weren't even there. I ignored it. After the service, my husband turned to me and started sobbing, so I hugged him tight and gave him kisses on his cheek. When I opened my eyes again, MIL was right there like I couldn't console my husband well enough, she had to do it (never mind the last 5 years she totally ignored him). But, I ignored it. When we went to leave, my husband said goodbye to he, she hugged him and then left her arms tight around his neck while she made him promise to get together with her soon. I felt like shouting to her that it wasn't OUR fault we haven't gotten together. I've invited her to birthday parties for the kids, holidays, etc. I've sent her a birthday card, mother's day card, and Christmas card every year. We sent her a postcard with our new phone number and address when we moved. Nothing from her. I ignored it. Today was about Grandma. And that was it.

Thanks for all the prayers.

I'm glad it's over Rachel. I hope you were all able to remember the happy times with her.

I'm not surprised your MIL said those things to the lady next to her. She sounds a lot like my mil, with everything you told us about her not coming to kids birthdays etc etc. All I can say is ignore her. Don't allow yourselves to come down to her level. Your own little family is what's important and you're all better off without her rubbish

Orange_Grove_Nursery wrote:

The funeral is over, thank the Lord. When we first walked in, my husband's mom ignored us, but started talking about how we wouldn't let her see her grandchildren (her choice not to see them, not ours) to a woman that was standing next to her...right behind us like we weren't even there. I ignored it. After the service, my husband turned to me and started sobbing, so I hugged him tight and gave him kisses on his cheek. When I opened my eyes again, MIL was right there like I couldn't console my husband well enough, she had to do it (never mind the last 5 years she totally ignored him). But, I ignored it. When we went to leave, my husband said goodbye to he, she hugged him and then left her arms tight around his neck while she made him promise to get together with her soon. I felt like shouting to her that it wasn't OUR fault we haven't gotten together. I've invited her to birthday parties for the kids, holidays, etc. I've sent her a birthday card, mother's day card, and Christmas card every year. We sent her a postcard with our new phone number and address when we moved. Nothing from her. I ignored it. Today was about Grandma. And that was it.

Thanks for all the prayers.

Good for you Rachel..... Sometimes a death can bring people closer together. Maybe she will wake up and realize what she is missing....

Rachel, so happy the funeral is over. You did the right thing by ignoring her untrue comments made clearly within your hearing but not to your face. My mil was very good at using that tactic. I always waited until we were alone if I chose to comeback at her but learned over the years it was pointless. The day was for your husband`s grandmother and your mil wanted to egg you on by making that comment. So glad you and your husband got through the day as proper mourners instead of fuel for your mil`s next outburst.

Thank-you, ladies.

I'm so glad you all got through the day ok, you did so well to ignore her behaviour